♥ KRISTINE.

Friday, May 02, 2008 @5/02/2008 12:26:00 PM

mood was totally gone

i feel like a jinx myself

and i beleivce i am

i'm tinkin too much?

i dont tink so

don't try to proof me wrong cos u wun know when u will be de next target

or rather i shld sae

de nxt mishap will falls on you

nobody will understd

anybody will be tinking i'm bullshitting

until u guys who's in my shoes will understd finali wad i mean

it seems to be onli happening to the closes ones around me

dont' sae it's a concindence

cos' i will nv believe in sucha concidence

its too much of a concidence to take

first was my grandpa at 5yrs old

second was my closest aunt whom dote on me alot when i was 12 years old

next was my mum, when i was 20

it was nt fully recovered

now, its him

the one whome i reali fork out all my time and efffort on it

the one whom reali understd me at times w/o me saying anythin

the one whom loves me the most but who duno hw to show the right time to concern

and yet a strong feeling confirmed me tt dere's something gg wrong.

very wrong

its nt abt de happenings i wana know

its more of a period i wana go thru tog with you now

yet u dont get it

so u might tink its jus u alone to endure and carry all these weights urself

and leave me doin nthing at all and so helplessly standby doin nthing will make me happy

you're wrong

cause you have never ever gone thru the feeling of

losing de loves one without

goin throu all the difficult times with them

staying by their side when bad news fall upon dem

and just all of sudden

only durin the ;ast stage, they will jjus be gone frm your side

gone.

its never a nice feeling

and it will never be

its not about the happy times to be go thru tog,

its more of a full cycle of a lifespan to go thru tog

sometimes i wonder,i keep wana know the truth know everythin

but yet i might nt stil be ready myself to accept all these myself

yes i know time heals,

but hw mani cycles of losing your i have to go thru,

and hw many time heals i needa go thru

wounds will never ever heal,

even if it does

a scar will stil be left behind

one time is alright

second time is alright too

the third and following time

it will never be alrite for me

never ever.

pardon me for this entry

its the only place i can pour all my sorrows to